Confessions Of A Marketing Intern | “Know Your Product”….The Saints

Confessions Of A Marketing Intern | “Know Your Product”….The Saints

Although I am a Marketing Intern and I have to manipulate for sales. But certain logic tearing ads are too much! What's say?


Advertising, you lying?
Advertising, you lying?

Hello, Interns!

How observant are you? How keen are you to realise any kind of shift in your surroundings? Have you ever wondered how your surroundings frame your mindset? Yes, that is how we marketing folks earn– feeding off your brain. And as a Marketing Intern at Peach Ad Agency (owned by a Leech), I finally have a task to accomplish! Yay, maybe?

Apart from jotting down Leech’s his to-do list down on a paper from his computer, (Urgh! The man likes hand written notes! *Rolls eyes*) I am supposed to ideate an ad for our client. The client wants a “catchy” ad for their new clothing line. Sorry, can’t take names but their expectations are silly. Just equally silly as our trendy Indian Ads. Can you even guess what these people smoke up? Because when I wonder, I have no decent answer. Don’t agree? Let me give you an example. So, guess what is this about?

A bag of cement. Cement. And to popularise that you need a woman in red twirling around. I saw this ad that showed two ghosts; one crying over his demise and the other trying to pacify him. Ghost No. 2 got pissed as the weeping Ghost No. 1 won’t stop. Ghost No. 2 suggested that they should go and watch a movie. So, both the ghosts start running; passing through trees, people and everything in between. Meanwhile, Ghost No. 2 tries warning Ghost No. 2 about a wall but it’s too late! Apparently, Ghost No. 1 dies again after banging his head on a wall constructed with Hathi Cement. Well, I guess Hathi cement trumps JK Cement. But where is logic? I guess we trump logic.

Imagine how easy our lives would be if all of this advertising was practical. Chivalry is long dead, you could seek relationships by spraying deodorants. And you could also buy them based on the spray count. You could turn into a man of chocolate (because that makes women go all oolala on you). But what if you are allergic to deodorants? Well, you could get high on some Paan Masala and hallucinate about women greeting you! If this also fails for you, you could always use a perfume that validates that you are a “He” and this is how you get a “She”. And all the rat poison is intelligently designed as all the rats in your house would consume the poison in your house but die out side of your accommodation! Are these mice really wise than our Mad Men? 

We all know we can only excel if we use fairness creams, greasy hair oils and consume Paan Masala. No, wonder our education system doesn’t give a flying damn about our education. And what’s the matter with some jingles! Oh, regarding your education, please stop aiming for IITs, IIMs, NITs or even decent colleges because IIN is there, no! Just like that bakery kid, you could learn how to “invent” things by simply reading words like “velocity”, “physics”, “angle” and a few Xs and zeroes because that is what drones are made of!

No wonder our future is so bleak. Take my advice and shut that idiot box down. Oh, and remember to close your bathrooms because either Lara Dutta (disguised as a reporter) or that-famous-man-from-TV can just barge in.

Because to hell with logic.

As The Saints sang

Cheap advertising
your lying
you never gonna get me what I want
all that smooth talking brain Washing

Anyway, I got to go. Mess with few heads.

-Just a Marketing Intern, Poppy.

Step into my world, read more about my dysfunctional ways here:

Confessions of a Marketing Intern | Chapter One

Confessions of a Marketing Intern | ‘I Wanna Be…Everything At Once’

Confessions of a Marketing Intern | ‘That’s What I Like’